Lately I have been dreaming that I have risen from sleep, and that I have started my day. And each time, I realize that I am still asleep, so I wake up and start my day.
And then I realize that I am still asleep.
It’s happening more often now. I am worried.
I seldom listen to Glen Beck on the radio. I think he is an excellent showman, and I think he believes in his faith, but I find his bloviating tiresome.
But today he said something interesting as I flipped channels. “Be grateful for your blessings, and be grateful for your curses, because your curses often turn out to be blessings.”
Now is a time of uncertainty and peril for me and my comrades; a curse, if you will. Our agency is failing because our leader is ailing. Soon we will be looking for new assignments, if I read events correctly. But that’s okay. Most people I know who suffer through transitions like this come out just as well on the other side, if not better.
So will we, I think.
A neighbor flagged me down in a store as I ran errands. It’s nice that she did that, because most humans look alike to me. If I meet them in an out-of-context setting, I often don’t know who they are. Luckily she had not changed her hair, or her voice. So that identified her for me.
We talked about her life and her business and her family. She seemed tired, worn, and sickly. She said business was poor, which is hard to believe in her particular industry, which is doing well right now in this area. Probably she has been distracted from her business because of her family problems. She’s gotten divorced, and her 18-year-old daughter is a jobless drug addict, bouncing between my neighbor’s house and her father’s house.
I could tell my neighbor was disconsolate. She still feels responsible for her daughter, though her daughter is an adult now. I am not a parent, so I don’t know what that responsibility feels like. I think I would have evicted my own daughter in similar circumstances, but that’s a hypothesis that would not be provable in reality. Sometimes you do everything you can, and your child is still a failure. It’s not all your fault. Your child bears some responsibility for its own failure. And when that child is able-bodied and of sound mind, but still insists on making bad decisions, at some point I think you are justified in refusing to invest more time and effort in helping it, when it will not help itself. Some parents make that “tough love” decision sooner than others. Some parents choose to support their failed children to the end, and their children drag the parents down into the children’s own hell.
I think my neighbor is in that hell.
I made soothing noises which I hope were convincing. We talked for awhile, and then went our separate ways.
I am glad I am not in her place.
It’s been a hellish week at work. My heads are pounding and my stomachs are upset from the stress. And that’s about all there is to report. It will get better in about a month when I go on vacation. I just need to get through the next few weeks.
Interesting. At the time I wrote that I was feeling something unusual, Muslims were massacring people in Paris. I don’t think I have experienced anything unusual at the time of other mass murders, so I don’t know if Friday’s sadness was related to the activities of Muslim murderers. It’s only one data point.
Since the Muslims will continue to murder people, however, I can await further data collection opportunities.
It’s been a strange day. I have been very productive on a number of intellectual and physical tasks. Yet I am sad. It’s unusual for me to feel anything at all, so that makes today an unusual day.
Everyone carries a cupful of tears inside. Sometimes it spills, and for no particular reason.
The Nation is a magazine founded during the American Civil War, and has been a leftist publication since the First World War. That’s why it surprised me when The Nation published an evenhanded summary of the scientific developments which are helping to disprove the current “human-caused global warming” climate change hoax. For example, I did not realize that all 50 United States saw record below-freezing temperatures in 2014, for the first time in recorded history. It certainly wasn’t mentioned by the media. Yet, there it is. I already knew about the record levels of ice in the Arctic and Antarctic, including a new study from NASA revealing that satellite measurements of Antarctic ice show a gain of 82 billion metric tons per year from 2003 to 2008 (The Washington Post chose to report it and then pooh-pooh it, rather than ignore the study as most media did). And this “climate change” research team had to be evacuated from their icebreaker which was stuck in the supposedly-disappearing Arctic ice, while this expedition in 2015 had to be postponed because of too much ice.
If you don’t know what the “Maunder Minimum” is, you’re going to find out in the coming years. Meanwhile, perhaps you should bundle up. It’s going to be cold.