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To get through holidays, have no expectations


Darling wife planned a nice gathering for Easter, a local custom commemorating the alleged resurrection of a religious figure,  thousands of years ago.

She planned a nice lunch for the family, and an Easter egg hunt for the children. But we knew from past experience that the family would be late to arrive. So I reminded darling wife to have no expectations. The food would be ready at a particular time. If they didn’t show up, we could eat without them.

They were almost three hours late. We ate some food and set the rest aside for them. Darling wife was fairly calm. We ate some candy and watched television. But darling niece was very upset at the family’s disregard for the schedule. She thought that Easter egg hunts should be done in the morning, similar to Christmas. That’s how she had been raised, and so had her family. So she couldn’t understand why they would disregard their upbringing.

I reminded her that she should not have any expectations, and then she could not be disappointed. She didn’t agree. She wanted them to adhere to the schedule, which we had all agreed upon. I asked her how she was going to make them do that. She didn’t have an answer.

So I asked her what would make her feel better. She didn’t know. I suggested that there was only one thing that she could change, and it wasn’t the family’s tardiness. She could only change her expectations of them. By not expecting them to be on time, she couldn’t be disappointed.

She grew quiet. We watched television.

Eventually the family arrived, we ate, we hunted for Easter eggs, and generally had a good time.

Will we ever have such a holiday together again?

I have no expectations.

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