Another trip to the mechanic
Darling wife had to be switched off today for some less-than-routine testing. She was very concerned that she wouldn’t be reactivated, because she’s rarely been switched off, and it’s possible the testing could damage her irreparably.
She made it through just fine. She was very relieved. I was kind and patient with her, which she greatly appreciated.
She looks at death differently, I think. The closer she gets to her expiration date, the more she fears it. The closer I get to mine, the more I look forward to it. My only concerns are that I hope it does not hurt very much, and I hope it is not a long and protracted process. For her or for me.
I don’t ask her much about her thoughts on death, because I don’t want her to ask me about mine. I am afraid she will regard my looking forward to death as a rejection of my life with her, which it’s not. I’m merely looking forward to a new experience, especially after this existence grows tiresome. I am grateful for every day I have had here, and every day I have had with her. If it ends tomorrow, I will count myself very fortunate to have had so much time here, with her.
She holds competing, contradictory beliefs about death. She insists there is nothing after death, yet she remembers numerous past lives. Asking her to clarify her position only annoys her, so I don’t. But I have my own memories of past lives, both on Earth, on Mars, and elsewhere. What I’m not clear on is, are these lives sequential in time, or are they all happening at once, feeding experiences back into a unified soul? Or does it not matter, because all events exist simultaneously in a continuum, and the perception of the “progression” of time is only a product of this body’s limited sensory ability to experience only one spot in the time continuum at any one instant?
I hope death will shed some light on the question.