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Chainsaw misery


I was cutting down trees again this past weekend. I like playing lumberjack. Unfortunately the disintegrator quit working, or I would have used it instead, and it would have saved the garbagemen some trouble. When it died, I smuggled it back to Mars on a mail shuttle, but my friends there have not returned it to me. Perhaps they are having difficulty repairing it. Or it was intercepted going there, or coming back. Either way, while it’s gone, I have to resort to the primitive tools available here to cut down trees. Like a chainsaw.

I’m good with a chainsaw. It’s not difficult to operate, as long as you keep the blade sharp, and don’t let it bind in the material you are cutting. But I haven’t needed to use it since the disintegrator quit working. I had had the chainsaw repaired the last time it refused to work, about a year ago, and then I put it back in the toolroom to await its next use.

Saturday was its next use. And it refused to start. No matter what I did, no matter what flammable liquids I put into it, no matter how I coaxed and cajoled it, it refused to start.

So I used other tools to do what needed to be done, and the dead chainsaw went back to the shop today. I told them that I hadn’t used it since I got it back from them last, so hopefully they won’t charge me twice to get it running once.

We’ll see.

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