“Stitchers” is a new show on ABC Family network. Emma Ishta is the most loathsome protagonist I have seen since Rainn Wilson in the now-canceled “Backstrom.” There are so many annoying things about “Stitchers,” I will let other people describe its annoyingness.
The only bright spot in the cast is Allison Scagliotti (late of the now-canceled Warehouse 13). Scagliotti’s smart mouth, impeccable comic timing and lovely face make her a joy to watch. The rest of the cast’s dialogue is simply too precious, too forcedly witty, as if the script had been written by brilliant but tiresome high-school thespians. Maybe it was, I don’t know. But the pilot episode certainly didn’t win me over. With recent human advances in cryogenics, the first gaping plothole is the 48-hour window of time after a subject’s death that the Stitcher team has to plumb the dead person’s memories. Why not just put the corpse on ice to slow its decay? Why, you could have months to investigate the dead person’s memories and solve the murder. But that would make sense, and “Stitchers” doesn’t. We’re just to be witnesses to pretty faces spewing snarky dialogue in a pseudoscientific setting. It doesn’t work.
I am not the only one who thinks “Stitchers” stinks. But unlike this person, I don’t think I can watch it. It’s too annoying.