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She was embarrassed to show me her “Fifty Shades of Grey”


At the car rental desk, the young agent (who reminded me of Hispanic actress Eva Mendes) mentioned that she was looking forward to reading her book this weekend. I asked her what she was reading.

She smiled secretively. “I don’t know if I should show you,” she said in a low voice.

I smiled and said, “Why?” She pulled out her book. It was one of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” books, I’m not sure which one.

We laughed together.

“I know,” she said, putting it away again. “it’s ‘mommy porn.’ And I’m not even a mom.”

“It does seem to be a popular series among the women I know,” I reassured her. I have never read any of the books, because I’m not interested. Fellow aliens have glanced through them and expressed revulsion, and their critiques were sufficient to satisfy my curiosity. “I hear the books are fun,” I said convincingly.

“They’re very good,” she sighed, fluttering her eyelashes.

“I’m sure,” I agreed. Our conversation then turned to something else.

It seems that every woman I know has these books in their home. Some of those women would classify themselves as man-hating feminists. So if the subject of the series is Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) between women and men, I’m unclear why those women would be interested in it, unless they are hypocrites. I don’t really care, though. Their psychological issues are not my problem.

I did happen to see the 2013 television program, “Inside the Fifty Shades,” however. It features sex workers who specialize in BDSM, talking about their experiences and their work. Listening to their stories made me realize just how varied the human mind can be in the stimulation that it enjoys. But it also makes me realize that one would have to be deeply vested in their corporeal body to enjoy such forms of stimulation.

I’m not. The body I wear right now is a tool, a vehicle, and a relatively frail, damaged one at that. I use it to move and observe things around me on this planet. There’s really no point to activities which could damage the vehicle or infect it with a disease.

And if I damage or destroy my vehicle before my mission here is complete, I may not be assigned another one very soon. One must treat with respect the equipment they are given for their mission.

So, I think it’s amusing, the types of abuse with which some of the natives here use for entertainment.

I think I’ll stick to music.

  1. Sweety Pie permalink
    2014-10-16T10:21:08+00:00 10:21

    Gee Wiz Alien! Not everyone has diseases… AND: You know me, I’m a girl. I don’t own those books. So no, not every woman you know owns them. I’d rather do it than imagine it – the ladder is just torture. Imagining… Sheesh!


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