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What not to bring on the subway


I am working in the People’s Republic of Chicago, allegedly ruled by carpetbagger Rahm Emanuel, the far-left Jewish ex-Chief of Staff of the Obama Administration. The gullible people of Chicago somehow elected Emanuel mayor in 2010, despite the fact that Emanuel was not a resident of Chicago and therefore was not allowed to run for mayor.

Emanuel hates weapons, and seeks to ban them as much as he can within the boundaries of Chicago, which continues to lead the country in total murders, though it has a middle-of-the-road murder rate per 100,000 residents. Since the US Supreme Court overturned Chicago’s existing gun ban as being unconstitutional, the thuggish Emanuel now seeks to stop gun sales by burying Chicago gun stores under a mountain of onerous record-keeping, far beyond what is required by federal law. This forces Chicago residents to travel farther from Chicago to buy their weapons, and will only disenfranchise the poor and the elderly who can’t travel so far to obtain protection.

Apparently Emanuel’s attempts to render his subjects powerless doesn’t apply to subway passengers, though. A 20-something woman on my trip downtown yesterday was carrying a Japanese sword, either a katana or a wakizashi. No one said anything to her about it. I wasn’t about to say anything, either. But I thought it was odd that she would be allowed to carry a deadly weapon on public transit. I have seen people thrown off of public transit for carrying everyday tools like hammers. The purpose of a sword is unambiguous. How she got past the ticket booths and other CTA staff, I’m not sure.

But if she can carry a sword, I can carry my disintegrator, regardless of what Thug Emanuel says. It’s hard to hide a sword. It’s easy to hide a disintegrator, even a three-tentacled model.

Note to self: bring disintegrator on my next trip.

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