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I’m not watching The World Cup

2014-06-18T08:08:29+00:00

It may not surprise you at all that I’m not watching the Fédération Internationale de Football Association World Cup, being played for some interminable period of time in 12 different cities in Brazil.

Ho hum. Watching a bunch of skinny, sweaty, screamy little Europeans and Latin Americans scurry around kicking a ball, kicking each other and falling down and wailing about some imaginary injury has no interest for me. Indeed, I have read several articles which explain that scoring in professional soccer is very difficult unless you obtain a penalty shot by faking an injury. That explains why the players tend to spend a lot of time rolling around on the ground and screaming. The best actor wins, basically.

I won’t argue that American football is superior. It’s not. In many ways, it’s more orchestrated (read: “rigged”) than soccer is. And football players suffer more debilitating and life-threatening damage to their bodies than soccer players do, it seems.

Both sports are simply spectacles, put on by rich people to entertain and distract poor people from the real problems of the day. Actually, sports like “professional” football or soccer are really just mechanisms to sell logo merchandise and advertising and television transmission rights, so the rich people get richer. And who’s paying the tab? Usually poor people, who don’t realize that they’re poor because they make dumb decisions like buying logo merchandise when they need to buy food or pay the rent.

I’m definitely not someone who buys or wears logo merchandise. That would violate the rule that all aliens must follow – blend in and be invisible.

I don’t watch spectacles because I don’t like being distracted by things that don’t matter.

And the FIFA World Cup doesn’t matter.

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