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Leave the past in the past


I had an odd dream the other night. It featured someone I have not thought about in years, someone I have not seen in decades. Many decades ago we were peers, but we did not fraternize. We were not friends, and we had no friends in common. We merely occupied the same space for a time, doing the same things, but separately.

In the dream, we were talking like old friends. It was a pleasant, relaxed conversation, a discussion of shared experiences in the ease of an ongoing relationship.

In reality, I think we’ve spent perhaps a total of one hour, either speaking to each other or writing to each other, in our entire lives.

I awoke with a disturbed, unsettled feeling. I don’t know why my brains would summon the image of this person, nor insert it in the role of a friend in my dreams. The discordance was jarring. I awoke with a distinct sense of annoyance and loss, a loss of something that never was and probably never could have been.

Leave the past in the past, I silently instructed my brains. And do not, I added, corrupt the past by twisting it into things that it wasn’t.

I do not think they will pay any heed.

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