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I’m not sure I can take more togetherness


Darling wife does not need to work. She is frugal with our money, and we enjoy recycling other people’s castoffs, so we live well. “New” does not equal “better,” and often “old” actually is better-quality, so we save a lot of money that way. We enjoy trash-picking and thrifting. Everyone should. Wait. No, that’s a terrible idea. Please continue pursuing your wasteful consumerism. Otherwise, there will be fewer bargains for us. Please, do carry on.

Anyway, darling wife has a fair amount of free time. She wants me to work less so we can play together more. I can completely understand her reasoning.

But I don’t really want to do that. I like work. I like the travel. I like the money it brings in. It funds our lifestyle and, in large part, her ability to have free time. And, although I am ashamed to say it, I like the independence it gives me. I am the captain of my own ship when I am away from home. When I am home, she is the captain, and I am the first mate. That is the way we arranged it, long ago, and it works well. I think every partnership should be that way. Much strife in marriages would be avoided if the stay-at-home partner runs the home and the finances. And if both partners have to work, then clear-cut responsibilities and schedules must be drawn up, and must be adhered to by both parties. Or it breaks down.

But if I stay home more and “play,” then I am no longer captain. We have less money and I have less autonomy. I will be forced to work more, actually, doing things around the house, when I would much rather be playing video games. Darling wife wants to travel for fun, but not working means not much ability to travel. And I have traveled most of this life. Travel is, frankly, unappealing.

More time with my darling wife, of course, is very appealing, to a point. But too much “togetherness” irritates both of us. By the time I leave on one of my frequent business trips, she’s ready for me to go. I don’t think she realizes that. But I see it. And I have had enough of “togetherness” with her, too. By the time I pack my rucksack, we’re both ready for some quiet and solitude, her at home and me in some faraway place.

So none of the “benefits” of working less and staying home more seem much like benefits to me.

She is fixated on it, though. It is not an issue that’s going to go away.

We shall see.

  1. Sweetie Pie permalink
    2013-08-31T10:45:38-04:00 10:45

    Have you thought of a plan for when you retire?


    • 2013-08-31T16:21:16-04:00 16:21

      Hadn’t planned to retire. Everyone I know who retired, died soon after. Avoid retirement, avoid death. And save money. ;-)


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