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Surfing the drama wave

2013-03-27T22:31:32+00:00

I watched most of “He’s Just Not That Into You” (2009) the other night. I was surprised at how many people I recognized in it. Most recent movies, I don’t know who the actors are. Not that it matters, really, but it’s fun to be able to recognize people. I do it better with black-and-white films. Those have been around decades (centuries, now) longer, so it’s easier to build up a lexicon of their contents.

I was also surprised at one of the soliloquies offered by one of the characters in “He’s Just Not That Into You,” describing the edgy angst that a woman (or a man) feels when they’re desperately waiting for a call/text/email/poke/doorbell ring from the object of their affections. The character pointed out that females enjoy the drama of the angst, of the waiting, the expectation, the hope.

I tried to remember what that felt like. I’m not sure I ever felt that at all. I found it difficult to imagine. If I had felt that angst, it must have been tempered by the prescient knowledge that the wish for that call/text/email/poke/doorbell ring would go unfulfilled. I think most people would be calmer and less angsty if they knew nothing would happen, if they knew the object of their affection would not call/text/email/poke/ring. But not all people have alien prescience.

Now, of course, I am happily paired, placid and content. Even if I wasn’t paired, I don’t think I would ever feel such angst as the movie described. That’s for hormonal humans in their sexual prime, when the urge to procreate overrides all other thought or prescience. My larval stage was spent waiting for it to end. What few hormones I had were irrelevant, so it was easy to ignore their fleeting, irrational demands.

Aliens don’t like drama, and we certainly don’t surf the drama wave like some human females do. Darling wife is currently having her alien equilibrium disturbed by a mentally-ill colleague (borderline personality disorder) who is sowing drama right and left with screaming fits and poison emails. We discussed whether it would be worth eliminating said colleague, but we decided that it would be simpler for darling wife to simply bow out of the group, to de-colleague herself.

We don’t understand drama, and we have no wish to understand it.

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