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The party’s not a success until the police arrive


I set off enough high explosives on New Year’s Eve to attract the attention of the police. Not one, but two cruisers. They take no chances. They were very polite. So was I. We had nearly depleted our stockpile for the evening, anyway. No one left the party disappointed. And now we have more leftovers ready for the Fourth of July.

I have a few New Year’s resolutions.

  • Eat less than I excrete.
  • Talk less than I listen.
  • Don’t try to help people. They don’t want help, usually; they just want to complain.
  • Take more vacations, on my own schedule.
  • Freelance.
  • Call friends more often.

I will stop with six, because that’s about five more than I will probably keep.

Happy New Year.

  1. 2013-01-03T15:54:25-05:00 15:54

    3 and 6 seem at odds with each other. :)


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