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Give me my f*cking handout!


The people of the United States have spoken, and they snarled, “Give me my f*cking handout!”

No longer is America the land of opportunity. It’s the land of handouts, of government largesse, where you don’t build anything, the government gives it to you. Part of the handouts are paid for with higher taxes, but most of the handouts are paid for by printing more money.

  • The elderly want their Medicare and Medicaid.
  • The young want “free” health care and their student loans forgiven.
  • The homosexuals want more preferential status and special treatment.
  • The illegal aliens want citizenship and more welfare checks and more “free” health care.
  • Women want more government assistance for food and child care and health care.
  • The unions want more preferential treatment and union-only contracts from the government.
  • The wealthy want more sweetheart deals with government bailout money and “stimulus” spending. And they want higher taxes, which some of them may actually pay because they have the money and they think it’s their social obligation to pay. Most of them, though, will continue to avoid paying taxes, via tax loopholes, writeoffs and offshore accounts.

Dear Leader has promised all of that, and more. And that’s how he got re-elected. And that means that America’s course is set, headed inexorably downward. The “takers” now outnumber the “makers,” and they will continue to vote themselves bread and circuses until the government collapses under the weight of its obligations.

I’ve decided not to care. I will work for myself, find ways to avoid paying taxes into the corrupt system of parasites, and make sure that my family and I are safe and comfortable. I can’t save America from the self-destructive demands of its people, but I can save myself and the people around me.

And eventually I will leave my adopted country and go home, which is altogether a better place anyway.

Farewell, America. It was nice while it lasted.

  1. 2012-11-08T16:36:02-05:00 16:36

    You’re an honorary Martian, you could always apply for permanent residence there. The air’s a bit thin, though, and you’ll have a permanent case of xerosis. And those stupid Rovers always blundering around in our backyards, cursed things, scaring our buggaloes.


    • 2012-11-10T08:14:26-05:00 08:14

      I’m an honorary Martian! I’m so excited!


  2. 2012-11-08T09:52:31-05:00 09:52

    I’m ready to move to another country altogether. Fiji, I’m thinking.


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