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I always wanted to be a lumberjack


We don’t have big trees where I’m from. We don’t really have any trees, actually… just lichens. The towering, woody, stately trees of this planet are fascinating organisms.

I don’t take much pleasure in cutting them down. After all, they’re a living organism, with their own vegetable thoughts. But I am quite good at it. I try to make sure I never kill them frivolously. There always had better be a good reason for taking them down, like their roots are getting into the septic field. In fact, I took down a large poinciana tree a couple months ago to keep it out of the septic. I cut it back to a large stump, then dug out the stump and moved it (at my darling wife’s behest) to another part of the property. Now it’s growing again happily in its new spot.

I have seen television shows like “Ax Men,” about real lumberjacks. It always surprises me that no one gets killed by the end of an episode. Most of the lumberjacks are hardworking, but a couple of them should never be allowed near power tools of any kind.

This weekend I took down a couple of trees that were becoming a nuisance. One was easy, but another one looked like a daunting task. It turned out not to be. That encouraged me to take down its larger sibling next weekend (a 20-meter queen palm, an invasive species which ought to be eradicated). I thought of the “Ax Men” people as I removed the chain guard on my saw this past weekend because it kept getting clogged up. It’s more dangerous, having the flailing gears of the saw exposed, but it’s much easier to clean it out when it gets gunked up with palm tree sawdust (a particularly gunky type of sawdust, because palm trees are actually a type of grass).

We’ll see if my lumberjacking efforts next weekend are as successful as this weekend’s were.

One Comment
  1. 2012-05-31T12:02:54+00:00 12:02

    100% agree with you that the “Ax Men” should never be able to wield a power tool… Always remember to keep in mind for the future, when bringing down more trees to measure which way the tree is leaning and where most of its weight is divided between branches and deepest roots.



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