A sleepless study

Periodically I wake up because I’m not breathing. Doctors call it sleep apnea. I think it’s merely an indicator that this is not my usual body, so of course I forget how to operate it properly. Nevertheless, sleep apnea is hard on the hearts (oxygen deprivation, you know) so my doctor ordered a sleep study for me.

A sleep study involves going to a sleep lab, having them wire you up with a spaghetti mess of electrodes, and trying to sleep with that mess on you. It’s not easy, especially when the bed is as hard as a rock.

I slept a bit anyway, off and on. I kept waking up tangled in the wiring, and the plastic tubing they use for airflow sensors reminded me way too much of all the surgeries I’ve had to make this body functional in this environment. Seriously, must surgical-grade plastic tubing stink like that? Apparently it must, because it always has. Plasticizers… a stinky necessary evil to make the tubing flexible.

I came home this morning tired, earlier than darling wife expected me. The house was in the normal nighttime fortress mode, meaning I couldn’t get in even with my keys.  She never sleeps well, so if she was still asleep, she must have been tired, so I read the paper outside until she woke up.

I slept another three hours this morning. I hope they got enough data from my sleep study, because I wouldn’t want to do it again soon. ;-)