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The “please don’t hire me” quote


Contractor was a week and a half late delivering his promised quote for working on our house. I left him a voicemail asking for a status.

Tonight darling wife came home to find a crumpled piece of paper jammed into the front doorframe. “Demo, framing, electrical, plumbing, concrete and windows, as specified per plans,” it said. We had asked for a detailed line-item quote. All we got was one handwritten sentence scrawled on a crumpled piece of paper.

$27,000. About $17,000 more than the amount for which we can do it ourselves.

We laughed about that. He clearly doesn’t want to work with us. But darling wife recognized that the moment he got out of his monster truck. Most short, fat men hate darling wife, because she has a strong personality and a direct manner. They feel intimidated by her. The force of her personality dashes itself harmlessly against my seamless, imperturbable nature like the crashing sea against a rocky shore. We work well together. “You have big balls,” she says. “They don’t.”

I would not know. I presume she actually does not know either. But it’s nice of her to say.

  1. 2012-04-21T13:54:33-04:00 13:54

    Anyone able to deal with you day-in and day-out must be strong. But then again, you travel a lot. Either way, I’m glad it works for you two.


  2. 2012-04-20T17:13:16-04:00 17:13

    I got a smile from this post, what and excellent example of “Don’t hire me”! :) I love the way you described your wife, she sounds so fearless when dealing with these people. I am still working on this one!


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