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Which personality were you talking to?


A lesbian acquaintance of mine, who has a myriad of issues, has a partner who suffers from dissociative identity disorder (DID), also known as multiple personality disorder. Her partner’s case is typical, the result of severe sexual abuse at the hands of her father when she was a child.

As a couple, they are an example of how people are attracted to another who is damaged in similar ways. I see that a lot. It’s not the healthiest thing for a relationship.

Her partner’s DID gets in the way of conversations, especially at night. They  have a long detailed discussion, make decisions, and in the morning, her partner’s dominant personality has no memory of the conversation.

“Why don’t you ask her which personality you’re talking to, before you have a discussion where you’re trying to reach an agreement on something?” I asked.

“Believe me,” she replied, “that is NOT a question you ask unless you want to start a fight.”

Personally, I’m not sure I would put up with that in a partner. I’m reasonably certain I wouldn’t. I think I would just rather have a dog. The conversations would be one-sided, but I’d always be sure of who I’m talking to.

  1. 2012-01-30T03:26:05-05:00 03:26

    I am with you on this one Marvin, I couldn’t handle a relationship like that. Too stressful, I have noticed damaged people seem to end up together spelling disaster. I know I was blessed with my husband and we had a healthy marriage, evil cancer stepped in or we would still be living happily ever after. Sorry, it’s late and I am rambling! Thanks for another interesting thought to ponder and take care!! :)


    • 2012-01-30T11:52:26-05:00 11:52

      Having had a good relationship with a spouse provides excellent perspective. You realize how lucky you were. I’m sorry you lost your husband! Every moment is precious, isn’t it.


      • 2012-01-30T20:58:36-05:00 20:58

        I think it provided very good perspective! :) Thank you for your kind words about losing Dave much too soon. Every moment is very precious indeed, I know you understand. You and your wife make every moment the best by the sounds of it, too. Long may you love! :)


  2. 2012-01-30T02:57:26-05:00 02:57

    Mmmm…. hard to judge another’s relationship. People tend to normalise all sorts of behaviour when exposed to it long enough


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